


Growing Together

by Alexwritesfics



Series: An Arrangement [1]
Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Fluff, Gambling, Kind of a crack-ish situation handled seriously, Love Triangle, M/M, Mild Adult Themes, Post-Series Five, Re-upload, differing POVS, eventual polyamory, request
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-11 04:14:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4420916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexwritesfics/pseuds/Alexwritesfics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all begins with a letter...</p><p>Jimmy's in trouble, and Thomas and Andy set out to help him. There's drama on the horizon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Correspondence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kaxen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaxen/gifts).



> This is a request I'm completing for Kaxen. It might be a bit of a risk uploading this, but ah well. I want my polyamory exploration so I'm going to write my polyamory exploration. Sorry if I'm not so good at writing from Jimmy's perspective. I just can't seem to write him very well at all, but I'm improving and this is part of it, so if you could bear with me that would be great. Maybe I'll finally find a happy medium and go back to re-edit all the crappy writing later. One can only hope.
> 
> Enjoy x

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The search for Jimmy begins.

It all began with a letter.

Thomas had been waiting for a letter from a Mister James Kent for quite some time, now. After the scandal with Lady Anstruther and the resultant departure of the footman, Thomas had soldiered on through the gnawing ache of loneliness all over again. It felt as if the underbutler didn't have a friend in the world.

Time seemed to pass sluggishly without Jimmy there, the days blurring into one - and in the privacy of his own thoughts, Thomas couldn't deny that a deep love and affection for Jimmy still burned on, as much as the underbutler wished to forget about it. Jimmy had meant the world, and Thomas was certainly finding it hard to live in a world without Jimmy.

After a failed attempt at "therapy" to "correct" himself, Thomas felt just about able to pick himself back up carry on, though he still had his various crosses to bear.

And then along came Andy - a sweet, trustworthy sort of man, tall with dark curls and youth in his eyes. Thomas found himself with another friend to spend his days with, and it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his chest. Life was full of colour again. But alas, his persistent feelings for Jimmy never completely went away as the months went by. Thomas felt like he would never be able to wholly let go of Jimmy, the footman who had knocked Thomas back with the force of the tides when he'd first saw him, swept him off his feet and filled Thomas' heart with desire like no-one else had ever done before. Things had always been complicated between them, but Jimmy's companionship had certainly been one of the happier parts of Thomas' life.

~*~

Andy tried to stifle his laugh by taking another sip of tea - Thomas always seemed to be able to entertain Andy with his wit, and Thomas was glad for it. It was nice to see the lad smile. Thomas had already been so beaten down and reserved at that age.

Thomas had felt a kind of indecipherable interest in Andy ever since they'd first met, and he couldn't deny that there was tension between them. But romantic tension? The underbutler couldn't really be sure, and he wasn't certain if he'd ever bring it up with the footman. Thomas resolved to stop reading so much into their shared glances and Andy's lingering looks - Andy was younger than him, and they were too different.

And of course. Jimmy. Thomas couldn't get the man out of his damn head. He didn't even know if he had any love left anymore. Just being friends with Andy was a way of happiness.

'Mail, Mister Barrow,' someone said as the day's mail was handed out, breaking the underbutler's train of thought. Thomas hardly ever got letters...

He was handed the letter in question with an anxious sort of curiosity in the pit of his stomach. He licked his dry lips and looked over at Andy, who was sitting empty-handed at the table. The footman smiled, picking up his teacup once again. 'You alright, Mister Barrow? You seem a little out of sorts.'

'I wasn't really expecting a letter to arrive today,' Thomas said truthfully. 'Let's hope it's good news, ahah...'

'I'm sure it will be,' Andy said with another smile, before turning a little in his seat to chat with Daisy.

Thomas shook his head a little and smirked to himself as he set about opening the letter, not recognising the return address. Daisy and Andy were good together - they got along well enough, and conversation flowed easily between them. But Andy never seemed to be quite as keen as Daisy. Andy liked Daisy, that much was apparent, but he seemed to keep a kind of distance. Thomas was beginning to worry that Andy was spending too much time with him and not the other staff - the underbutler didn't want Andy to be heavily associated with the likes of himself. Feeling alienated from the other servants wasn't exactly a joyful thing to live with, even if Andy would always have Thomas on his side.

The world seemed to stop as Thomas began to read the letter. His hands shook, his mouth went dry, his heart picked up speed as he heard the whistle of a train long since departed ring loudly in his ears. After all this time... Jimmy had finally written to him.

But it certainly wasn't standard fare - it wasn't about the weather, or where the former footman of Downton spent his afternoons off nowadays.

Jimmy was in trouble.

Jimmy needed Thomas' help.

~*~

Andy paused outside of Thomas' door that night, feeling helpless - Thomas had been agitated and unreachable ever since the news that had arrived by the mail. The nature of the news - well, Andy couldn't be sure. He'd never seen Thomas so out of his head before, that much was true.

Andy made up his mind and knocked on the door. He heard a curious rustling sound, but no reply. '...Mister Barrow?' he called tentatively.

'I'm just getting ready for bed,' Thomas said. 'I'll, er, I'll see you tomorrow.'

'Can I just talk to you for a minute?' Andy said, wincing at how pleading his own voice sounded.

He heard a heavy sigh from the underbutler before the door was finally opened, just enough for Thomas to be visible to him, not enough so that Andy could see into the room. 'Andy, I'm sorry, but I really need to get some sleep for tomorrow-'

'You've been acting strangely. You've been out of sorts. I'm getting a little worried if I'm being honest... Please, just tell me what's going on.'

Thomas' face suddenly fell free of its mask, and he looked agonised, trapped by something Andy wasn't aware of yet. There was another long-suffering sigh from the underbutler before he stood aside and simply said: 'it's Jimmy...'

Andy walked into the room, using the space Thomas had allowed for him. 'The other footman? The other one you were close to?'

'Yeah... Yeah. Jimmy was my only real friend here at Downton. It hit me hard when he left a while back. But... He's contacted me again.'

'After all this time?'

Thomas nodded, looking positively miserable. Andy felt his heart clench almost painfully in his chest. 'But... Aren't you happy?' Andy asked softly. 'I thought you would be if he ever wrote. I've heard some stories about Jimmy... Kent, wasn't it?'

Thomas winced at Jimmy's name, but nodded again nevertheless. 'I would be, but he hasn't tried to get in touch in such a long time, and he's, he's in trouble - he did something bloody stupid. He's down to his last bit of money and he borrowed some money from some bad, bad people.'

Andy bit his lip, feeling Thomas' worry in waves. 'But - why is he coming to you for help if it's been such a long time?' Andy knew Thomas was upset, and the footman couldn't help but feel angry on Thomas' behalf. If Jimmy hadn't contacted him until now, why was he waltzing back into the underbutler's life and messing up everything? It hurt to see Thomas so scared.

'He's got no-one else to turn to, and usually he's too proud to ask for money outright if he didn't need it, or at least, that's the Jimmy I knew. If he wanted it, he'd sweet talk his way into a deal, not beg me for it...'

'He begged you?'

'Yeah... He's really upset... I need to help him.'

'What has the man ever done for you?'

'I care about him, Andy! We... We have history. He's important, he's still so important to me after all this time. We went through a lot together, him and me.'

'So you're just going to send him money?' Andy clenched and relaxed his fists, trying to calm himself down.

'It's more complicated than that. Besides, I'm not going to put money into the post and just bloody _pray_ that it gets to him. It could get lost, and that wouldn't help anyone, would it? He needs protection. I need to make sure he's alright. I have a horrible, horrible feeling it's all worse for him than he's letting on, I, I can't just sit around and wonder whether he's going to sleep each night without a roof over his head, my heart couldn't take it.'

_Oh._

Andy felt what he knew of Jimmy Kent slot into place, and he saw the look in Thomas eyes. So Andy's hunches had just been proven correct.

Thomas liked men.

Thomas liked Jimmy, loved him, even.

Andy regarded the underbutler with a peculiar mix of awe and jealousy, though he wasn't sure exactly who the jealousy was aimed at.

'...Andy?' Thomas asked, clearly puzzled by Andy's sudden pause.

Andy shook his head slightly to clear it, stepping a little closer to Thomas. 'What about your job, Thomas?'

He internally winced at his slip up, knowing that Thomas would probably be nothing but "Mister Barrow" to him for a long, long time. Nevertheless, the footman persevered in getting Thomas to stay and continued with his point. 'You've worked hard to get to where you are today. Have you told Mister Carson where you're going?' 

'Don't you think I haven't been fretting about this all day? And no,' Thomas admitted simply. 'I must be insane, but no.'

Andy felt a lump form in his throat as he looked past the underbutler to see Thomas' possessions packed in a suitcase on the bed. '...Why not?' the footman persisted. 'Carson could always give you the day off... He'd be angry, but I don't think he'd fire you or anything. You've been here for years, they need you.'

'They may need me but they certainly don't want me. And I have no idea how long I'll be. I don't want Jimmy to suffer while I try and get a bloody day off, Andy. I c-care about him, more than anything.'

Andy felt his face go hot and cold all at once as he cleared his throat and threw caution to the wind. '...Do you love him, Mister Barrow?'

Thomas swallowed nervously. 'Yes. Yes, I do.'

'I had a feeling you did.'

'So the rumours have gotten to you,' Thomas said, smiling ruefully. 'They all know, but they never talk about it - well, not to my face, anyway.'

'Maybe, a-and maybe I'm not as sheltered as all of you seem to think I am.'

'You're not disgusted?'

'...Not for a second. You l-love him, you want to look after him, how is that such a terrible, punishable thing?'

Thomas bit his lip and smiled again, even though he appeared be on the verge of tears. 'You're a true friend, Andy. I don't deserve you, I really don't...'

Before Andy could reply, Thomas had pulled him into a gentle hug. Andy felt his heart break and mend itself all at once as he felt those strong arms slip around him. Andy couldn't help but feel like this was the end. He leaned down to rest his head on Thomas' shoulder, breathing in the underbutler's addictive scent of cologne and cigarettes.

'...I'm coming with you,' Andy said before he realised what he was truly saying, the words coming out like a sigh.

'What?' Thomas exclaimed, shocked so much by Andy's declaration that he didn't think to let go of the footman (not that Andy was necessarily complaining).

'I'm going with you,' Andy said against Thomas' jacket, feeling his certainly grow with every moment. 'Wherever you have to go to make things right, I'll be there with you. And don't you d-dare say I can't. I promise I won't slow you down. But Jimmy's involved with dangerous people, y-you said so yourself. I care about you too, I don't want you to be left all alone.'

'Andy... Do you even realise how ridiculous that is? I love him, he's in danger, I have no choice, but you've got a chance here-'

'-Losing my job here wouldn’t be the end of the world, you know. I'm young, I'm in shape... There's a good chance of finding someone to take me on.'

'-I'm not having you leave your job for me! This isn't a bad life, Andy. There's always a chance I'll come back, but if not, I can always try to find other work.'

'Without a reference to your name? Now _you're_ the one who's being ridiculous... Let someone care for you, Thomas. I understand that Jimmy means a lot to you, but I'm your friend, you said so yourself, a-and I don't want you getting hurt. Let me come with you. We can head off together in the morning.'

Thomas sighed, holding Andy a little tighter, longer than two friends probably should have embraced given the circumstances. '...Please reconsider.'

'No,' Andy said in a tone lighter than he felt.

'You're going to be the death of me.'

'Sure that's not Jimmy Kent?' Andy joked, nerves momentarily getting the better of him.

Thomas shook his head. 'You'd understand. Y'know, if you'd ever been in love before. And I'm sure you will someday.'

Andy leaned into the embrace, feeling his stomach do backflips as he tried to put strange, sudden thoughts of Thomas out of his mind.


	2. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy and Thomas set off on their quest to find Jimmy.

Thomas resisted the urge to rest his eyes for a moment as the train pulled out of the station, watching as Andy adjusted the hat on his head.

The hat was relatively new, a Christmas present from one of Andy's relatives.

Thomas' own hat was perched on his lap for now, his thoughts drifting to his suitcase. He hoped he'd brought everything he needed. It had been so last minute - they'd been up for most of the night packing and then Thomas had been too nervous to sleep very much afterwards - but he wasn't going to wait around and just hope that Jimmy would be alright. They'd left for the station the morning after Thomas had received the letter, and Andy looked as tired as Thomas felt. '...You can always turn back, you know,' Thomas said to his travelling companion, voice cracking from lack of use. 'It's not too late. I have money, I can send you back if you'd like.'

Andy shook his head, smiling a little. 'I'm fine. I want to do this. I haven't been at Downton that long, anyway. Besides, this could always be over quickly.'

Thomas nodded, trying to keep his expression neutral.

'...You don't want it to be over quickly, do you?' Andy said, a softer edge to his tone.

Thomas bit his lip, shaking his head. 'Well, I don't know... Maybe. But I want to see how he's doing, anyway. I suppose I'd like to sit down and talk with him properly. I mean, he's my friend. Or at least, he was.'

'He didn't write to you after all this time...'

'Well, it seems he's been a little busy trying to stay afloat as of late.'

There was a tense silence as Thomas looked down and fiddled with the hat on his lap. He needed a cigarette...

'...So what's the famous Jimmy like?' Andy asked, tone a little lighter than it had previously been.

Thomas smiled a bit as he leaned back in his chair, heart beating slightly faster despite himself. 'He's a... "a vain and silly flirt". or at least, that was the general consensus. But, he's more than that, I don't really know how to describe it.' Thomas' mind's eye flickered back to those evenings he’d happily spent talking with Jimmy. Just to be near the man had often felt like an honour. 'He was always a good laugh... Hmm, and it meant I had someone to play cards with of an evening.'

Andy stifled a yawn of exhaustion, but his eyes were bright with interest. 'Like we do?'

'Yeah. Like we do. His poker face improved with time. He was smart, he was good at thinking up schemes when he put his mind to it. He was good at playing people, and it came in handy. Most people don't think it, but he could be very genuine and friendly. We had some good times together. We had each other, you know? Maybe not in the way I wanted sometimes, and it wasn't always perfect, but I was glad he was there.'

Andy rubbed his eye absentmindedly, a smile playing on his lips. '...But he was handsome, right?'

Thomas smiled in response, trying not to blush. 'Yes. Yes, he was very handsome. And yeah, I guess he could be quite vain.'

'Like you?'

Thomas laughed in surprise. 'I do beg your pardon, Andrew. I'm not vain.'

Andy went slightly pink and fiddled with his pocketwatch, eyes not leaving it. 'Th-That's, um, that's not what I was trying to say, but... Um, never mind. I'm just tired.'

Thomas couldn't quite understand what had got Andy so worked up all of a sudden, but he decided to let the matter drop for the lad's sake. 'Aren't we both,' the underbutler said. 'Still. At least we get to have another sit down instead of going up to serve the family.'

'True...' Andy admonished. The footman smiled slightly and Thomas returned the gesture, before the underbutler turned to gaze out of the window, thankful that their little compartment was still blessedly empty save for themselves.

'It's not good for me to dwell on the past too much though,' Thomas said. 'Jimmy, well, Jimmy's probably moved on a bit since Downton.'

'...I wouldn't be so sure...'

'And why do you reckon that? Nah, I'm sure he's moved on. He might be a tight spot right now, but I'm sure he's got some stories to tell. When you're away from the place, it seems like a completely different world.'

'...You were away... During the war....' Andy stated, exhaustion creeping into his tone. His voice was quieter than it had been. 

Thomas nodded, still staring out of the window. '...It wasn't a good time. But anyway, I shouldn't dwell on that too much, either. I'll be honest, I-I'm a little nervous about meeting up with Jimmy again. I just hope he's doing alright for himself, even with the money worries... I hope he's taking care of himself as best he can. Maybe he'll have taken my advice. M-Maybe he's courting a nice girl.' Thomas bit his lip, regretting his sudden lapse in control. He was always so guarded, but he couldn't help but note that Andy often brought out another side to him. He had to stop thinking out loud whenever Andy was around...

It occurred to Thomas that Andy had stopped listening altogether when the underbutler felt the footman slump against his shoulder. Andy was taking deep, slow breaths, clearly slumbering.

Thomas instinctively leaned into Andy's warmth, but drew back sharply, quickly thinking better of it. Andy was too preoccupied with sleep to notice. Thomas also withdrew his left hand which had unwittingly darted out to stroke Andy's curls, though part of the underbutler sorely regretted it - they were soft and wonderful beneath his fingers.

Thomas blushed despite himself, looking out of the window for some sort of distraction, praying to a God he didn't truly think to be there that the compartment remained empty for the rest of their journey, lest he wake up the curiously adorable sleeping man next to him.

~*~

The journey to London seemed to go on for longer than usual for Thomas - but maybe it was because of how hyper-aware he was of Andy next to him, sleeping and therefore oblivious. Their compartment was empty, but there was always the chance that someone could have entered and made their assumptions. Waking up Andy had been embarrassing to say the least.

There had been a moment before Andy had brought himself out of his post-sleep stupor when he looked up at Thomas with half-lidded eyes, lips slightly parted, content to just trace the planes of Thomas' face. But then the moment had been over, and they were both pulling away from each other, blushing and blinking in the new light of what Thomas felt to be a new chapter in this thing they shared.

It was dark now, and the two companions were walking through the city streets, luggage in hand, ignoring the steady drizzle of rain.

Thomas tried to take deep, calming breaths. He was desperate to find Jimmy and see if the man was okay, and sometimes he felt panic and apprehension take hold - it didn't exactly help his nerves that Andy easily kept up with his brisk pace with those long legs of his - their hands would brush and the sparks would fly, sparks that Thomas hadn't wanted to admit to happening until just then and dammit, _dammit,_ this was the worst possible time for all of this to be happening.

'You alright, Thomas...?' Andy asked quietly as they stopped themselves from going down yet another dead-end street, having dropped the title of "Mister Barrow" quite a while back.

'Yeah... I'm fine...' Thomas said. 'I just want to get to him soon.'

'Do you remember when we were last here? The Velvet Violin...?'

The sound of the club's name brought a smile to Thomas' lips despite the underbutler's nerves. 'Yes.'

'I liked it here. I liked being part of something. I mean, you didn't really get to have that feeling at the last house I worked at. You never really felt part of a team...' Andy rubbed the back of his neck absentmindedly before continuing. '...So, er, London was a lot of fun. I guess that's what I'm trying to say. Apart from that business with the money, of course.'

'Well, money makes the world go 'round, I suppose. It makes London keep on turning at the very least.' Thomas' face darkened as his thoughts turned to Jimmy once again. If those people had already got to him... If they'd already hurt him...

'You're always a little bit cynical, aren't you?'

'How do you mean?'

'Well, you can't really go on denying it when you come out with stuff like that.'

Thomas smiled again, stopping for just a moment to look back at Andy, who was following close behind. Rain clung to Andy's hair like tiny crystals, and his eyes, though still marred by dark purple rings underneath them, were bright with interest nevertheless. His lips were slightly parted again, just like they had been on the train. The buzz of worry in Thomas' head stopped for a second, and all was well. 'I'm not as cynical as I sound,' Thomas said carefully as he listened intently to the sound of the rain.

'No, maybe you're not,' Andy replied softly, running a hand lightly through his own hair as if he didn't know that it drove Thomas crazy.

'I think we're almost there,' Thomas announced to break the sudden silence. 'Come on. Let's get out of this rain...'

Andy nodded, lips quirking up into a smile again as they continued on with their quest.

~*~

Lightning strike.

Bags hit the floor with a dull, wet thump.

James Kent stared into the eyes of Thomas Barrow.

Jimmy had left many things behind when he'd made his way out of life in service. But the memory of Thomas' eyes - crystal clear and near-painful to remember - hadn't been one of them.

'-Jimmy,' Thomas said, and his voice filled Jimmy with warmth despite the innate chill of his room, settling in his chest, and Jimmy couldn't contain himself any longer. He stepped out into the shabby corridor of the inn and held Thomas close, feeling Thomas put strong, reassuring arms around him as the former footman stared without seeing at the rain droplets in Thomas' dark hair. Water from the brim of Thomas' hat dripped onto the floor. Jimmy heard a quiet intake of breath from behind him but he didn't want to come back to reality so soon. 

The embrace seemed to go on forever and yet it was still too short for Jimmy's liking. The two friends pulled apart, Thomas smoothing down his damp suit as Jimmy cleared his throat awkwardly. Jimmy winced when he realised that he himself was now also wet from the rain. '...Evening, Thomas,' Jimmy said, voice coming out as hoarse despite himself. '...So, you f-found me alright?'

'Took us a while, I'm not going to lie. Not your fault, of course,' Thomas added quickly. 'I just... Don't go up to London all that often these days.'

_Us?_

'Thank-you for coming,' Jimmy said quickly, uttering the words with true feeling. 'Er, come in, come in...' Jimmy stepped aside to let Thomas in, and Thomas gladly obliged, lips forming one of those reserved but genuine smiles that Jimmy had missed so dearly as he put his luggage in the corner.

Thomas Barrow.

He looked tired and aching and _wonderful..._

As Thomas made his way inside Jimmy's digs, Jimmy finally noticed the other person in the equation, the one that made Thomas' "I" into a "we".

He was... Tall. Very tall indeed.

Jimmy tried not to seem taken aback, but really, the lad was huge. Jimmy had expected for Thomas to come alone. Jimmy had expected for all of this to turn out... Differently.

And yet the three of them were here, standing together at this point in time with unknown directions to take. This other person was in Jimmy's (temporary) doorway, smiling awkwardly and ducking his head a little. Curly hair and... Doe eyes? Was that really the right word for them? Still, he seemed harmless enough.

Jimmy couldn't help but speculate as he motioned for the stranger to come in as well. Was he... With Thomas? Was he Thomas' companion in more ways than one? But no. Jimmy sought to put such thoughts out of his mind as he told the two of his visitors to make themselves at home. The man looked too young and sheltered to even know about Thomas.

'I'm sorry, I didn't realise you'd be here at this time of night, I-I was just about to head off to bed...' Jimmy explained. He gestured to the disarray his room had fallen into over time. 

'Does anyone else live here? I wouldn't want to wake them up or anything,' Thomas said.

'N-No, er, I live alone right now...' Jimmy felt a swirl of embarrassment settle in his stomach - this was his life now, and he couldn't hide it from Thomas any longer. He got out a pair of wooden chairs and encouraged Thomas and the stranger to sit down. Once again, they obliged the offer.

The stranger cleared his throat as if to say something, before Thomas said as if on-cue: 'Andrew Parker, James Kent. James Kent, Andrew Parker.'

Jimmy forced a welcoming smile despite how uncomfortable he felt due to the man named Andrew's presence, reaching out to shake the stranger's hand.

'...Pleased to meet you,' Andrew said when they'd pulled apart, running his fingers through his own hair nervously. His voice was rather soft. Everything about him seemed vaguely calm and and unassuming to Jimmy. It somehow set Jimmy on edge - especially the way Thomas' eyes followed Andrew's hand as it combed through those dark curls.

'Pleased to meet you,' Jimmy echoed, sitting down at the foot of his own bed, facing his visitors. '...So. I guess it goes without saying that you got my letter?' Jimmy said, eyes darting to meet Thomas'.

'You said you were in trouble,' Thomas said, and though his words made Jimmy wince ever-so-slightly, the former footman drank in the sound of Thomas' voice - he'd missed hearing it every day. There were so many things about Thomas that he'd missed.

'Yes, I'm in a bit of trouble,' Jimmy confirmed. He could feel Andrew's eyes on him, but he chose to ignore it. 'It's been tough since I left the Anstruthers'...'

'-You went back to that woman?' Thomas interrupted. 'The woman who got you fired in the first place?' 

'There was nothing else for me to do, Thomas! She paid me well and I was never ill-treated-'

'-Except when she constantly tried to charm you into her bed-'

'-Thomas, please, I'm a grown man, I knew exactly what I was bloody doing!' Jimmy could see Andrew blushing slightly out of the corner of his eye.

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry...' Thomas said, voice softer this time. Jimmy redirected his full attention to the underbutler, feeling his heart beat a little faster in his chest whenever he laid eyes on Thomas' face. 'What do you want us to do now?' Thomas asked, leaning forward a little in the candlelight.

There it was again. "Us". _Thomas and Andrew._

'I feel like I didn't explain it very well. In the letter, I mean. I was in a bit of a state when I wrote it. It's been hard to stay rational and all that. I ended up leaving service for good when I thought there was an opportunity at a bar... I thought I could work my way up, make something of myself, but the place went bankrupt. I found some odd-jobs to keep my neck above water, but the opportunities dried up and I needed more money...' Jimmy sighed, feeling awful about showing any sort of weakness in-front of Thomas and especially Andrew, but feeling unable to resist placing his head in his own hands for a short moment to gather his thoughts.

He straightened up, unable to meet either of his visitors' eyes when he said: 'I can't pay my loans back. They got too demanding with it all, they won't even let me leave this area to find more work in case I skip out on them. I thought you could help me, you're always good at coming up with ideas. Maybe we could... See that they back off?'

'-No. No schemes, not this time around, Thomas said firmly. 'We're going to pay the money quietly and get you somewhere safe so they don't bother you again.'

Jimmy's head snapped up at Thomas' words. 'But I don't have the money-!' The former footman was interrupted by Thomas once again.

'-I'll give you money.'

'-Th-That wasn't really the point of the letter, Thomas... I don't want to take your money. I couldn't do that. I just want them to leave me alone so I can go out and get a proper bloody job for a change, that’s all I need.'

'I'm not risking anything. You told me you feared for your safety, and I can't live with that knowledge if I'm going to be helping you out of this. We're going to do it properly. We're just going to sever ties with that gang and make ourselves scarce. And then I'll...' Thomas cleared his throat awkwardly. 'That is to say, we'll be on our way.' The underbutler nodded in Andrew's general direction.

Jimmy sighed, chewing worriedly on his lip as he finally turned to the very new Andrew, who was staring at the floorboards as if they were the most interesting things in the world. 'I'm sorry, but I don't get it.... I didn't think you'd want to tell anyone about this, Thomas. Why is Andrew-?'

'-Most people call me Andy,' Andy cut in. 'I know it's not really fitting for a footman, but... Well, we're not at Downton anymore, are we...?'

Jimmy gave a small "humph" and raised one eyebrow. 'Funny. Most people call me Jimmy,' Jimmy said, trying to keep his tone light and neutral.

'Yeah, so I've heard. And I found out by accident,' Andrew - Andy - explained, looking down at his own hands. 'I caught Thomas packing up his things and I guess I didn't want him to go it alone. He wasn't exactly sure when he’d come back and I just thought he wouldn't mind travelling with a friend, so I...'

'...You're friends?' Jimmy asked, trying to stay relaxed in his place at the foot of the bed.

'Yes, good friends,' Thomas confirmed, placing a hand on Andy's shoulder. The Abbey's newest footman smiled sweetly in response.

Jimmy leaned back, trying not to think about how close Thomas and Andy were sitting, how cosy they looked together in the intimate glow of candlelight. Actions really did speak louder than words.

There was a brief pause that said everything and nothing all at once, broken by Andy cutting in to say: 'Um... We've been walking for a few hours... I was wondering if you knew where the-'

'-Oh. The bathroom for this floor's the first door on the right, just unbolt my door on the way out.'

Andy nodded and smiled slightly in gratitude, getting to his feet. A strange look crossed Thomas' face, a sort of loss that Jimmy couldn't quite place. Jimmy resolved to keep an eye on Andy from now on, even if he wasn't exactly sure why.

Jimmy heard Andy's footsteps echo on the floor roads as he moved out of sight, finally unbolting the door after a brief spout of nervous - and audible - fumbling.

It may have been the whiskey from earlier or the cold getting in his bones and sending him down the unfortunate path of a fever, but Jimmy felt possessed to put his hands either side of Thomas' face. Thomas' eyes widened almost-imperceptibly with shock, but then those piercing blue eyes of his softened, and the underbutler reciprocated the action, cradling Jimmy's face with his own hands. They were intoxicatingly soft against Jimmy's skin.

'...You look thinner,' Thomas stated quietly, worry colouring his voice.

'So do you,' Jimmy replied, smiling nervously and looking down from Thomas' intense gaze.

'How have you been, Jimmy?' Thomas asked with almost heartbreaking sincerity, and Jimmy looked back up at the underbutler's words.

Jimmy found himself begin to shake from exhaustion, shake from relief at finally having Thomas near again, shake from fear that the gang may descend upon him at any moment, but mostly he was just-

'-I'm tired, Thomas,' he answered, mortified to hear that his voice was cracking slightly. All the things he'd intended to say died in his throat then and there. He felt like a curtain of finality had fell away and he was now exposed for all of the world to see. _I feel like I haven't slept in weeks... God, I must look like a mess. What am I to him anymore?_

Thomas' broken-sounding: 'Oh, Jimmy...' was all it took for Jimmy to crumble, hair falling in-front of his eyes as he buried his face in Thomas' chest, breathing in Thomas' scent as if he could drown in it.

Jimmy was so caught up in his wild imaginings and fear and need to be ever-closer to the man he was currently clinging onto with all his might that he barely registered the sound of his door gently clicking shut. Perhaps Andy had stayed longer than they'd anticipated, but Jimmy was too goddamn tired to care anymore.

Thomas was here, and Thomas was enough.


	3. A Crowd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get heated at breakfast, and Jimmy realises just how much Thomas has changed.

Andy sat on the wooden chair with worry in his eyes, fiddling with hem of his shirt as the candles burned low.

Jimmy and Thomas lay on top of the covers on the bed, having fallen asleep holding each other. Their suits were wrinkled and their hair was askew but they were lost to the world, Thomas' hat having dropped onto the floor a while back. It was how Andy had found them after his trip to the bathroom, and now the footman wasn't quite sure what to do about it, or if he should do anything about it at all. Andy noticed the whiskey by the bed and poured himself a tiny amount for his nerves, holding the chipped glass with a slightly shaky grip. It wasn't like Jimmy was awake enough to care anymore. He'd seemed to have found everything he wanted in Thomas tonight.

The thought gave Andy a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He felt like a voyeur, an intruder, a stranger. He didn't feel like this place was where he belonged. The whole situation was... Intimate. Overwhelmingly so. Jimmy was loved tenderly and dearly by Thomas, that much was true. It was a rather strange thought. Sometimes Andy lay awake at night trying to wrap his head around Thomas Barrow, someone who moved with such grace and possessed such biting wit, and yet still fell victim to humanity's vices and the comforts of routine.

Thomas didn't do anything by halves. His lips curled around the first cigarette of the morning like it was a personal conquest, tore someone down with his sharp tongue as if his words were knives, and his plans were quite honestly inspired and the sign of a man who still had hope for something better.

It only made sense for Thomas to love with every inch of his heart and commit his love to memory even when his beloved had left him behind. Thomas would cross oceans, or perhaps the stormy and winding London streets to be with his beloved, and ask for nothing in return.

There had been love in Jimmy's eyes as well. Any fool could've spotted it. Embraces. Gentle touches. Lingering looks. Dreams spent in each other's arms. Andy's grip on the glass in his hand tightened a little. Jimmy was a dream of something better, something more, left to stagnate in a place far beneath his status. Even with Jimmy's dishevelled state and less than glamorous lodgings, Andy could understand why Thomas was still drawn so fatally to the man. Jimmy was sunshine, bottled sunshine.

_What am I when placed next to that?_

It was a question that Andy didn't know the answer to yet.

But he still didn't want to drink up, cut his losses, quietly take his leave and perhaps never see Thomas again. They had planned to book one of the rooms in the inn for the evening, but Andy felt rude waking Thomas up at such a late time of night.

Andy closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on the patter of the rain outside, listening to the dripping of a tap from the bathroom (no matter how many times Andy had tried, he hadn't been able to turn the tricky knob all the way).

He'd slept on the train - on Thomas no less - yet the footman was still tired. He didn't know how to go about getting some rest so he was ready for the following morning. The single bed was now out of bounds and the floor was hard and wooden. The footman shook his head slightly, the alcohol already making his mind feel a little fuzzy. Despite his previous and enduring reservations about Jimmy, Andy had to admit that the atmosphere here was peaceful. Thomas and Jimmy were both safe and slumbering, the soft candlelight illuminating their features and making them appear softer, more vulnerable. 

Thomas was beautiful.

That much Andy could admit to himself under the influence of cheap whiskey.

And Jimmy was also lovely in his own way - Andy couldn't really deny it. His face, always pinched with stress from what Andy had seen of it, was now smooth and lax, and the slightly wavy hair was pooled on the pillow. He'd looked at Thomas like he'd wanted to inhale him when they'd first opened the door.

Jimmy and Thomas, all tangled up. Lost in each other, eyes shut and searching.

Deep, slow breaths.

_In and out, in and out..._

~*~

Thomas blinked slowly as his eyes fell on the light streaming in through the curtains. Jimmy's room. He'd met with Jimmy again last night... With Andy... Thomas was suddenly aware how warm it was, and he eventually realised his situation - he found himself pressed against two warm, solid and clothed bodies. His eyes finally focused on the sleeping face of Jimmy Kent, feeling his own face heat up and his hands clench. Thomas had missed that face for so long... He forced himself out of his stupor and lifted his head up, finding Andy curled up next to his back, legs dangling off the bed, a little bit of drool gathered near his mouth. Pillows were strewn out on the floor.

Thomas blushed again, gingerly lifting his hands to rub the sleep out of his eyes. Despite the smell of the rain and mud of London that Thomas and Andy were covered in, it was by no accounts an awful way to wake up.

 _Two beautiful men._ Thomas felt the urge to slap himself when he thought of such a thing. He began to formulate a plan to get out of bed without disturbing the others.

'You're thinking pretty hard for someone who's just woke up,' a voice - Jimmy's voice - said softly from the mattress.

Thomas smiled, trying not to let his embarrassment show as he watched Jimmy sit up and rub his eyes, stifling a small yawn. '...Got to keep myself on my toes,' Thomas said feeling a comforting warmth spread through his body when he saw Jimmy's blue eyes stare up at him, sleepy and content.

'Mnh, how did we even get like this?' Jimmy asked quietly, looking over at Andy. 'He's here, too...? I... This is a single bed, not a three-person one. Not that I'm really complaining, mind... It's always so cold up here. I haven't been this warm in bloody weeks.'

Thomas tried to wipe the look of concern from off his own face. 'Well, glad to be of service...' he said, trying to tread carefully.

'Don't give me that look, Thomas...'

'-What look?'

'You're worried about me. I can tell.'

'How can you expect me not to be, Jimmy?' Though he was worried in that moment, the underbutler still relished saying Jimmy's name. 'I've only just heard from you, I had no idea how bad you had it,' Thomas continued.

'I'm fine. Honestly, I'm doing fine. I'm just tired.'

Thomas tried not to wince at the former footman's words. '...So you said last night.'

'I'm glad I actually got some sleep for once... My head feels a lot clearer. You... You don't have to give me your money, you know,' Jimmy continued, voice a little softer this time.

'I said no arguments. We're doing this, I don't care how much it takes. I need to make sure you're alright before I leave.'

'H-How... How long were you thinking of staying?'

'When you're all set here, we'll have to go back. I'll fight for Andy if they try to give him the boot. It's not his fault, I didn't expect him to get caught up in all of this.' Thomas turned in his place to see Andy spread out on his minuscule amount of mattress, legs splayed, hair over his eyes. Thomas felt again that need to touch those dark curls, run his fingers through them and commit their texture to memory. He shook his head a little to clear it, turning back to Jimmy, who was watching him with confusion.

'Th-Thomas. I want to ask you something, a-and I want the truth.'

Thomas pursed his lips, nodding. 'Alright. What is it, Jimmy? You've gone serious all of a sudden...'

'Are you and Andy-?'

'-...I know about him,' said Andy quietly, lifting himself off the mattress shakily and wiping the drool from his mouth.

Jimmy and Thomas both flinched in shock.

'Bloody hell, how long have you been awake?' Jimmy said, getting out of the bed completely.

'Y-You two woke me up,' Andy said, stifling a yawn. 'I couldn't help but overhear. Sorry if I scared you.'

'You didn't scare me,' Jimmy retorted, a touch of his old defensiveness in his voice. 'I just... It's rude to eavesdrop, didn't anyone ever tell you that?'

'I didn't eavesdrop,' Andy said lightly, but Thomas could detect something a little stronger beneath his tone. 'I just woke up... Don't worry yourself, I know about Thomas and I don't mind.'

Thomas bit his lip, getting out of bed and slicking his hair back before his hands flew to his pocketwatch to confirm that it had survived the night's events. 'That doesn't matter right now...' He reasoned. 'Andy and I didn't mean to stay the night. Should we make some breakfast?'

~*~

Jimmy looked over at Thomas as the older man picked listlessly at his plate of bread and cheese.

'It's all I have,' Jimmy repeated lamely for easily the third time that day, unsure what of else to say.

'No, no, it's fine,' Thomas assured the former footman. 'I'm just worn out from the walk yesterday.'

'I think we're all a bit tired,' Andy said, settling down a little clumsily in his chair. It made Jimmy wince slightly - everything that Andy did that morning seemed to set Jimmy on edge. Jimmy supposed that Andy was an outsider, in stark contrast to Thomas, who... Well, who was really more than a friend.

'Have you been at Downton very long?' Jimmy asked, the words coming out with more venom than anticipated.

'Not long,' Andy said. 'But I've settled in. I like it there, the people are really nice.'

'Shame to ruin it by leaving, though. Some of us would kill for jobs like yours right now...' Jimmy forced a chuckle to lighten the mood, but continued on in the same fashion as earlier. 'I mean, don't get me wrong, but-'

'-It's worth it if it means Thomas doesn't get hurt,' Andy cut in firmly, the words burning in Jimmy's brain and dredging up less-than-fond memories.

'And what's that supposed to mean?'

'Nothing. I just didn't want to leave him in this position, y'know?'

'I still don't understand-'

'-It wouldn't be fair to leave him all alone, that's what I mean...'

'...Are you implying something?' Jimmy asked through his teeth, and he saw something shift near-imperceptibly in the footman's expression.

'No, no, of course not,' Andy said, but the man was a bad liar and Jimmy was wise to it.

A look of shock crossed Thomas' face. 'I can take care of _myself,_ thank-you very much. I don't know what's going on, but can we please-' Thomas began, but he was cut off by Jimmy.

'-I don't know who you think you are, taking my food, staying in my bloody flat and thinking I have it out for Thomas Barrow,' Jimmy hissed. He was dimly aware that he was shaking, so he put his hands flat on the table in an attempt to steady them. He didn't know where all of this anger had come from, but it had settled over him like an oncoming storm. Thomas was his friend, and though they'd had their differences, Jimmy cared about Thomas too much to let him go this time. Hell, Jimmy loved Thomas.

More than Thomas would probably ever know at this rate with Andy bloody Parker hanging around like a third wheel. And Jimmy certainly wasn't going to let this awkward, bumbling stranger act like he knew every little intimate detail regarding the underbutler.

Andy pinched the bridge of his nose as if to calm himself, leaning back in his chair. '...I just want to know what you want from him, that's all... You didn't write to him for all this time-'

'-You told him that?' Jimmy said, eyes darting to Thomas.

'I was packing, I was in a hurry, it just came out,' Thomas said, expression kept carefully neutral. 'And this has nothing to do with anything, does it? I don't know what's gotten into the both of you today, it's daft. We're going to pay Jimmy's debt and get away from this place. S-So just calm down...'

'...You didn't answer my question earlier,' Jimmy said to Andy, remembering the earlier strained conversation with footman.

'What question?' Andy said, voice quiet and terse as if he was trying to maintain his composure.

'Are you two together?' Jimmy said, heart beating a little faster in his chest and his stomach doing a strange sort of somersault. 'You don't have to keep something like that from me,' he assured Thomas, directing his attention back to the underbutler.

Thomas opened his mouth to say something, but this time, his companion cut him off. 'No, we're not,' Andy said, setting his jaw and running a hand through his curls. 'We're just friends. It doesn't matter. I'm going to get changed...' The footman pushed his plate aside - it had been empty, anyway - and headed off in the general direction of the suitcases piled by the door. The tips of his ears were red.

'Have I done something to you, Andrew Parker?' Jimmy said, also getting to his feet.

Thomas gave a sigh of exasperation and got up as well, putting a hand on Jimmy's shoulder. Jimmy relaxed at Thomas' touch, deflating a little. 'I don't know what's going on but I think you'd both better stop before it goes too far,' Thomas said quietly as Andy undressed, seemingly uncaring if Thomas or Jimmy were watching.

'Any chance of a bath here, Jimmy?' Thomas asked quietly, clearly still trying to defuse the situation.

Jimmy smiled ruefully, finding himself pleased by the subject change. 'One next to the toilet, and the water's always bloody cold no matter what I do. I wash in the basin when I can get away with it.'

'How long have you been here, Jimmy?'

'Not long. A couple of months, maybe?' The days seemed to blur into one without the routine of Downton and the company of Thomas.

'...Holding up alright?'

'Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I just... Miss Downton as all.'

'Never thought I'd hear that from you,' Thomas said with a disbelieving chuckle.

'Y-Yeah, me neither,' Jimmy said. He cleared his throat and smiled, feeling more like himself than he had in weeks. 'But I didn't have it bad there, you know? There are worse places to be. But getting away from there, it helped me to gain a little perspective.' Jimmy popped a bit of bread into his mouth, chewing and swallowing, before saying: 'it helped me realise a couple of things about myself, things that I guess I'd been avoidin-' Jimmy stopped mid-sentence when he saw something catch Thomas' attention. The former footman followed the direction of Thomas' stunned gaze to Andy.

_Shirtless Andy._

Shirtless, _muscular_ Andy.

Well, Jimmy really hadn't expected that to be hiding underneath Andy's attire. He looked down at his plate, feeling a little guilty for staring. Thomas coughed awkwardly and picked up his suitcase as he walked over to the bed, his back now turned to Andy.

'Where do we hand the money over?' Thomas asked, the rustling sounds indicating that the underbutler was changing out of his wrinkled suit.

'It's a few streets away,' Jimmy answered, stacking up the plates. It hit him that his precious time with Thomas was almost over. He had do something.

He had to tell him.

~*~

Thomas fixed Andy's tie with a small smile.

Jimmy looked on, feeling the nervous knot in his stomach tighten a little. They looked so painfully domestic in this setting, stood in the doorway of the flat and ready to step out into the wider world. Jimmy adjusted his own cap, the motion familiar and comforting to him.

Things had changed.

Thomas was no longer the man Jimmy knew when he still worked at Downton. Sure, he was mostly the same, but important things had shifted and changed in the time that Jimmy was away. And the new lad, Andy, he seemed as sweet as anything with Thomas, almost so much that Jimmy didn't believe that there wasn't something going on between Thomas and the footman, but Andy really didn't seem to enjoy Jimmy's company. He was confrontational and protective.

It begged the question - how much of Jimmy and Thomas' relationship did the young footman know?

The staircase creaked as always when the three men headed down to the streets of London. Andy and Thomas were chatting, Thomas' blue eyes lighting up when Andy made a small joke. Jimmy needed some time alone to confide in Thomas, that much was evident. He only prayed he would get some before it was too late and Thomas was drifting away from him.

Jimmy saw Thomas' hands, the ones Jimmy longed so much to hold with his own, turn the doorknob of the front door so they could step out together.

Thomas Barrow and Jimmy Kent _and_ Andy Parker.

Jimmy suppressed a sigh. He couldn't see this arrangement ever working.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading x


	4. Challenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A regrouping at the pub causes sparks to fly between not just Jimmy and Thomas, but Jimmy and Andy.

'...I think a drink's in order,' Thomas said with a small, tired sigh, sitting down in his chair with a distinct lack of his usual grace. 'I don't know how you even got involved with those people in the first place, Jimmy. They were crooks and no mistake.'

Jimmy opened his mouth as if to say something, but swiftly closed it, simply nodding his head. 'I agree, it was bloody insane of me. But I had no other choice,' he said lamely.

'...I don't think I did too well at keeping calm,' Andy piped up with a sheepish look.

'You did just fine,' Thomas replied quickly, feeling responsible for how uncomfortable Andy had looked throughout the entirety of the morning's negotiations. 'It's my fault for dragging you into this situation in the first place. But I'm glad you're here.' He felt something in him stir when he replayed his own words back in his head - there was a certain fondness attached to them, and it was undeniably for Andy.

Jimmy winced at Thomas' last remark. 'Well, then-'

'-Don't,' Thomas said quietly. 'Don't do that to yourself. Don't feel guilty. I keep telling you, I'm fine with helping you out.'

Jimmy nodded again, staring down at the table.

Andy seemed to wince a little, the same uncomfortable expression from earlier making a brief reappearance. '...I'll go and get the drinks,' the footman said, an odd tone to his voice. 'I'll be back in a minute.'

Thomas watched with a quizzically raised eyebrow as his tall companion got to his feet, getting the sudden urge to put his hand on Andy's arm to stop him from leaving so abruptly. Thomas kept such a thought to himself. He had to stop himself from feeling so responsible for Andy somehow.

With Andy's absence, Thomas let his mind drift back to that smoky basement club that reminded him of a grimier, more illicit Velvet Violin. It had been dark in those rooms, dark enough that even the normally sharp-eyed Thomas had found it hard to make out the exact features of the strangers they were negotiating with. There had been a desk, though in reality it was really just a pile of boxes covered with a dark-green sheet. It had been cold, and Thomas had wondered in passing if it was another fear tactic, something that kept their "customers" in line more easily.

'Thomas... I'll pay you back,' Jimmy said, a little more firmness in his voice as he pushed his fringe back. 'Every last penny, you mark my words... And no more shady loans anymore, no matter how desperate I get. I can't believe you did all that for me.'

'We're friends, aren't we?' Thomas said simply. 'Friends help out other friends.' The word "friends" felt a little sour on his tongue as he thought back to the previous night - he'd embraced Jimmy, and Jimmy had reciprocated with a tenderness that Thomas hardly ever saw from not just Jimmy but anyone in the underbutler's life.

But was there anything there other than friendship? It may all still be platonic. Hadn't Thomas done the same with Andy? Held him close, spoken openly with him, fell asleep next to him for two nights in a row...?

_Andy..._

Thomas felt himself blush - just a little bit. On second thoughts, it was probably better not to open that can of worms just then.

'I - I'm sorry I didn't write,' Jimmy blurted out.

Thomas' expression changed minutely despite himself, and he knew then from Jimmy's face that the former footman had caught a glimpse of it, the pain Thomas had suffered due to their separation and lack of contact. Thomas wished he could keep it together but it became harder and harder the more he spent time with Jimmy.

'I just wanted to know how you were getting on,' Thomas said, trying to keep his tone neutral. 'I know jobs in service are hard to come by these days.'

'I know... I should've. It was wrong of me, and I'm not going to hide from it any longer. I was planning to try my hand at letter-writing when I got settled back in as a footman, but when I lost my job there I lost track of how long it had been since I left Downton... And, and it got... it got harder to get in touch the more I thought about it,' Jimmy finished in a great deal smaller voice than when he'd started. 'I guess I started overthinking things like I often seem to do. Time was passing me by and I thought you'd just want to forget it with all things said and done.'

'I know that things feel different... Outside of Downton,' Thomas said carefully. 'I learnt that when I was away for two years.' The underbutler steeled himself - it had always been hard to confront Jimmy about what they meant to each other ever since the ill-fated sleep kiss, but Thomas had to try now. 'But you're right. I know things weren't always easy between us, but I thought we were close by the end of things. And I'd really have liked to have heard from you, Jimmy.'

'I know, I know...' Jimmy said. 'I cut myself off from you with no warning a-and I know you didn't bloody deserve it. We _were_ close. I should have tried harder, I should have tried so much harder...' Thomas swallowed nervously, unsure of how to respond, but Jimmy didn't seem finished, so the underbutler merely tilted his head and motioned for Jimmy to continue.

'You're a good friend, Thomas,' the former footman went on to say, something having changed in his voice, a sudden new intensity. 'Kind and as loyal as anything. I wish I'd tried harder to stay in touch. We weren’t always together at Downton but when we were... I was happy.'

Thomas opened his mouth to say something else, an uncomfortable swarm of butterflies unfurling their wings in his stomach when he looked Jimmy in the eye, but they were interrupted by Andy sitting back down next to them, passing drinks along. 'Thank-you,' Thomas said to his travelling companion, half-thanking him for interrupting in the first place. Thomas had waited so long for Jimmy to get in contact with him again and say words such as these, but it was a lot for Thomas to process in that moment.

Thomas guessed he needed some time.

'You two getting on alright?' Andy said in quiet, worried voice, as if there was a secret double-meaning to his words.

'Just fine,' Jimmy said, looking mildly irritated. Thomas could see that Jimmy and Andy didn't particularly like or trust each other, but as to why except shallow surface facts, Thomas couldn't be certain.

'I guess I'll be looking for jobs again,' Jimmy announced with a sip of his drink. 'It'll be good to start earning regularly again. I'm not sure I'll ever find a good footman position again though. I need something a little more secure.'

'Sounds sensible enough,' Thomas said. 'You did well at Downton, though.'

Jimmy smiled at that, seeming younger for a moment. 'I didn't have the same drive to succeed like you did, Thomas. You really wanted to climb the ladder. I admire that about you, I really do... Still, if that whole thing with Lady Anstruther hadn't have happened...'

Thomas put a hand on Jimmy's shoulder, bringing back faint memories that suddenly didn't seem so far away. 'Well, I'm glad I'm here with you now.' Jimmy smiled again at Thomas' words, nodding a little.

'We didn't have to stay for too long in the end, did we, Thomas?' Andy said, coughing a bit. Thomas nodded, smiling as he set down his glass for a moment.

'I'm pretty sure we can think of something to keep the rest of the staff satisfied. I hope they don't draw any conclusions, though.'

'They can say what they like, it doesn't make it true,' Andy said. 'I don't care what they say.'

'You should,' Thomas urged with a small sigh. 'You really don't want that kind of reputation.' _My kind of reputation._

There was a slight pause.

'...Jimmy?' Andy said, turning to the man who was currently staring at the bottom of his glass with a pensive expression. 'Are you alright?'

Jimmy nodded, looking a little confused by the question - or maybe because it was Andy who was asking it. 'Y-Yeah, I'm fine,' he assured the footman, though his eyes were on Thomas now. 'I just thought I'd have more time to catch up with you, Thomas.'

Thomas smiled, though he could feel his throat tightening for a fleeting moment. He was finally here with Jimmy after all this time, and Jimmy valued what he had to say. The underbutler wanted to say so many things, but it just didn't feel like the right time to do so.

'We could always stay a while,' Andy of all people reasoned, leaning back a little in his seat.

'I don't want to keep you,' Jimmy said. 'I know you must be busy with your jobs.' But he already seemed a little happier at the suggestion, eyes lighting up in a way that they rarely used to now that his time at Downton had come to an end.

'Do you play cards?' Andy asked, another seemingly out-of-the-blue sentence from the footman. Andy was aware of Jimmy and Thomas' card-playing sessions, the underbutler was sure of it. So why was Andy even asking? To be his usual polite self? Or was there an ulterior motive to this that Thomas hadn't considered yet?

'Yeah,' Jimmy said, and Thomas could recognise the expression on the former footman"s face - a hint of competition, more subtle than it used to be, eyes sparkling with the possibility of poker. 'Me and Thomas used to play games of cards to the pass the time.'

'What kind of games?' Andy pressed.

'I don't think we should be doing this,' Thomas interjected. 'We'll be gambling before you know it.'

'Come on Thomas,' Jimmy said, throwing a small smile in the underbutler's direction. 'Lighten up. It's just a bit of fun.'

'Yeah, a bit of fun,' Andy echoed with a grin. His face was always so much more open and honest when it came to these things... This wasn't going to end well.

'Come on, Thomas...' Jimmy repeated with feeling. 'It'll go fine, won't it?' Jimmy looked over at Andy, who nodded eagerly, before continuing. 'Just a few games before you set off tomorrow. Like old times.'

'We barely get anyone else interested in playing back at Downton,' Andy said. 'And besides, Thomas is always too good for everyone,' the footman said with a laugh. 'I'd like the chance to go up against someone with more experience for once. It might take our minds off this morning...'

'Well, alright,' Thomas said, suppressing his sigh of defeat by draining his glass. 'I think I brought a pack with me to London. Let's go and get this over with.'

'Why so pessimistic?' Jimmy asked. 'I remember you being bloody brilliant at it.'

'I'm worried for Andy-'

'-Don't you worry about me!' Andy said. 'I've learnt a lot from you. We don't always have to gamble, either.' There was a glint of challenge in Andy's eyes that said otherwise.

'I have a pack at home,' Jimmy said, patting Thomas on the shoulder as he got to his feet. 'And some more drink I can afford to share. It'll be fun...'

'So you keep saying,' Thomas said with a rueful smile. 'Fine. Let's go then.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading, and thanks for the kudos. It was nice to log back in and see how many people thought this was worthwhile so far.


	5. Acquisition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night of gambling leads to unforeseen consequences for the trio.

Jimmy's voice was liquid honey when he was like this. Andy knew enough now that he could easily fill in the gaps of who Jimmy used to be - bright-eyed and fresh-faced, golden wavy hair that was combed to perfection and a smile that suggested mischief at every turn. A witty man who was bored with his mundane life as a servant, but hadn't tired of the world just yet. Someone who's mere presence implied adventure and the kind of good fun one could only have by bending the rules a little.

It was easy to fall in love with it all, if only for a short while. There was something almost ritualistic about the way they'd gathered around that table to play cards that night. Jimmy seemed to light up the room when he was in his element like this, handsome features illuminated by the small smattering of candles. Andy knew then with renewed certainty why Thomas would pick Jimmy over the footman. Of course, that meant Andy was well and truly on the way to heartbreak. But the drink... The drink they'd had was certainly helping with picking Andy's mood up. He'd probably had far too much already to be able to think straight.

Hah. He was melancholy, but he also found all of it rather funny just then, as of none of it really mattered. He knew he'd wake up with a headache in the morning, but right now everything was softer, even his and Jimmy's relationship - there were no sharp edges there anymore.

Andy and Jimmy had started off as competitive at first, but the hunger to prove themselves had waned considerably, and they were now enjoying a rather splendid interval of light teasing and gentle shoves. Thomas seemed happy too - as near-unreadable as always, but Andy could see the smile in his eyes. Thomas was content.

'Another round?' Thomas asked, cutting through the strange golden gloom Andy was currently drowning in. Thomas" voice also seemed sweeter - like treacle, Andy thought.

'I don't know about you two,' Jimmy said, 'but I'm getting bored with this bloody flat. An' that's the truth of it...' Jimmy blinked slowly, as if trying to come back to himself. Andy knew the feeling - the footman was sure that if he got up out of his chair right now, he'd get lightheaded.

'Well, where else can we go...?' Thomas asked, sounding like he always did, calm and controlled. His appearance - flushed face, hair out of place and rumpled clothes as he leaned back slightly in his chair - suggested his disposition was in stark contrast to his voice.

'This is London,' Jimmy said, slurring his speech a little, though the emphasis was clear. 'London, Thomas. We can do anythin' we like.' He turned those beautiful eyes on Thomas, giving the underbutler the full extent of his drunken charm. 'Please, Thomas... Th-This is your last night here...'

Andy wanted to laugh himself silly at something he would've found so manipulative and caution-inducing when sober. He settled instead for a little smile on his lips. Maybe Andy was being a little hard on Jimmy in the first place...

'Well, alright,' Thomas said finally. 'B-But we've got to sober up a bit... Andy looks like he's ready to drop.'

'Hey, don't you start on me,' Andy said, resisting the urge to pout. He was _not_ that damn drunk. When was Thomas finally going to start treating Andy like the man he really was? 'Y-You always say stuff like that. I'm not a bloody child, Thomas...'

'I know, I know...' Thomas assured the footman. 'I just meant... Let's clean ourselves up a bit. We're going out tonight...'

Jimmy grinned. '...Yes we are.' The former footman got to his feet, hands planting themselves firmly on the table to steady himself.

Andy felt the earth tilt on its axis with a sickening jolt when he also stood up from his chair.

He wouldn't let the others know about it, though. He wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

He was sick of being such an open book to the rest of the world.

~*~

The sky was heavy, but Andy could still see the stars overhead. He stopped in the middle of the street, captivated by their presence.

'Oi, Andy! Hurry up!' came Jimmy's voice from in-front of him. Andy brought his attentions back down from the heavens to see Thomas and Jimmy significantly ahead of him, waiting for him to catch up. They looked... Good together. Andy had tried to sober up as best as he could back at the flat, but his mind seemed to have no filter anymore - he'd broken through the barrier as if there'd never really been one there at all to protect himself from his own feelings. He looked at Jimmy and Thomas, lit only by the lampposts of the London streets, and Andy decided that they were stars too, breaking through cloud and into Andy's atmosphere.

So beautiful that Andy felt a sharp ache in his chest, a pain that he didn't know how to simply quash.

He shook his head at his own thoughts, hearing a rumble of thunder that resembled the sounds from the night before.

The evening was young, but it was probably best if they all got a move on so they could get back indoors. 'S-Sorry,' Andy said, hurrying back over to his companions for the evening. 'I just got distracted.'

~*~

Now they were well and truly hammered.

Parts of the evening had passed in a blur since they'd stepped out onto the city streets. They all felt a sense of euphoria from the night's events, but Andy wasn't quite sure what for. He tried to grasp at straws in his head, tried to make sense of it all, but he came up with nothing. He leaned against wall outside another the pub, and it felt like the bar was the only tether left to the world. He didn't want to fall off the planet.

He was back in London again, and so much had changed.

Thomas was inside the pub still, talking with animatedly with strangers. He was never usually liked this - he'd had a lot to drink as well, Andy supposed.

Thomas...

Andy shivered in the cold night air, feeling the illusion of invincibility chip away until there was nothing left. Loneliness, sharp and heavy in his swirling stomach, was all that was left in its wake. It had stopped raining for now - Andy wished it hadn't. He didn't like being able to hear his own drunken thoughts.

'Andy!' Jimmy's voice came from the pub door. The door swung open on his hinges and Jimmy stumbled outside in his poor man's clothes, though something had changed in his eyes - Andy tried to search for why, but he had a hard time remembering how he'd gotten to where he was just then.

'Jimmy, you should go back inside,' Andy said, words running into each other like watercolours. He didn't think he'd ever been less in control of his mouth. Then again, he'd probably never drank this bloody much. Everything was numb and raw at the same time. Andy didn't know how to make sense of any of it.

'Non - hic - sense...' Jimmy said, haphazardly clapping a hand on Andy's shoulder. '...Why you outside, Andy? Why are you lonesome?'

'Nothin', it's nothin'...' Andy signed, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes to stop the world from spinning. 'L-Leave me alone, Jimmy...'

'It's cold out here. You look sad...'

Andy opened his eyes, trying his best to focus back on Jimmy's face. 'Doesn't matter...'

'-Is it him?' Jimmy's eyes looked less glazed-over, but they were soft. Like his words, they seemed to be melting, radiating sincerity in every endeavour. It was funny what drink could sometimes do to people.

They both knew exactly who "Him" was.

'...I'm jealous,' Andy admitted finally, swaying a little as he tried to back further against the wall to show he wasn't being being confrontational.

'Of what, silly?' Jimmy asked, brow furrowing in confusion.

'Of you two together...' Andy said, feeling his already flushed face heating up further under Jimmy's scrutiny. 'Y-You're good together...'

'An' what's that supposed to mean?' Jimmy said, shoving Andy with a harsh force that was clearly accidental. Andy didn't move much because of the wall, but Jimmy did - the former footman lurched forwards, head falling onto Andy's waist. Jimmy scrabbled to right himself, and Andy tried to help him, clumsily lifting him up by the elbows. Jimmy smiled a little in thanks and kept holding onto Andy's arms. Andy was too drunk to notice or care, strangely glad for the close human contact.

'He treats me like... L-Like a bloody _child,_ he does...' Andy said, the annoyance he'd felt earlier reintroducing itself with gusto. 'I know what I want.' He looked into Jimmy's eyes without really seeing, thinking of Thomas and what he was doing just then - laughing it up with strangers instead of being outside with his other companions.

Andy felt like he was being left out in the cold, as if Thomas didn't think he truly belonged in the adult world.

'Ohh, but he _looooves_ you,' Jimmy said, drawing out the famous "L" word and swaying a little on the spot. '...Adores you,' the former footman added with a touch of sadness in his voice.

Andy cracked up laughing at that, shaking from his mirth. Jimmy looked bewildered by it all at first, but eventually he joined in. Andy decided that Jimmy had a beautiful laugh. When they were both finally finished with giggling like schoolboys, Andy leaned in, whispering loudly in Jimmy's ear. 'It's always been you, Jimmy...' he said. 'You're _it_ for him.'

'What d'ya mean? "It"?'

'H-He never stopped loving you...' Andy fell forward and Jimmy stumbled forward as well, pinning Andy against the wall and wrapping his arms around the tall footman.

'Little touches...' Jimmy said sadly, sighing against Andy's chest.

'What?'

'It's little touches, y'know, little - hic - touches. With... Y'know, your tie, your hair, hah, h-he really bloody likes your hair... He looks like he wants to be near you _allllll_ the time and it hurts me but it's not my place anymore s-so I just...' Jimmy trailed off into nonsense, though most of his message got through to Andy.

'...You... You think he doesn't love you anymore?'

'I-I don't know...' Jimmy's face crumpled for a minute, as if he'd revealed a terrible, terrible secret to Andy just then. London's resident golden boy hiccuped a sob of hopelessness.

'Hey, hey, don' cry...' Andy said softly, pulling Jimmy away from his chest so he could look at him properly.

'I'm not bloody crying...!' Jimmy protested loudly, but the tears in his eyes told a different story. 'I'm glad you're happy together...'

'I'm _not_ happy. He thinks I'm all innocent and, and _stupid._ I have to watch him, I have to... I have to watch him m-moon over someone else 'cause he doesn't know.'

'Now you _are_ being bloody stupid... He's mooning over you!'

'You!'

' _You!_ '

Andy reached down and tapped Jimmy on the nose, drunkenly thinking this the most effective way to diffuse the situation. 'You!' the Londoner announced smugly, almost forgetting what they were arguing about for the moment.

Jimmy turned even redder in the face. 'Hey!' he said, leaning up again so they were looking into each other's eyes. 'J-Just 'cause I'm bloody shorter than ya!'

Andy cracked up all over again at Jimmy's definite pout, not caring how loud he was being out in the street. Jimmy got even angrier at that, setting his jaw and announcing with pride: 'w-well, I'm _prettier_ than you...!'

'Now that's true,' Andy said, leaning his head back against the wall with a smile still playing on his lips. 'I can't - hic - c-compete with it, really, I can't... I'm glad I lost him to someone so pretty... He d-deserves someone pretty, doesn't he? He does...'

'I'm not good enough for him...' Jimmy said with feeling. 'I treated him rotten, Andy, I treated him _horrible._ I can't have him, n-not now, not ever. An', an' I-I didn't even realise he was what I wanted 'til it was _toobloodylate..._ ' The former footman's breathing became decidedly more shallow. In a flash, he'd disentangled himself from Andy and was down on his hands and knees.

'-Gonna throw up?' Andy asked, trying to throw off his lightheadedness as he quickly knelt beside Jimmy.

Jimmy gulped down several breaths, shivering a little from the cold and possibly nausea. 'I-I thought I was...' He dry-heaved again, shivering as Andy tried to rub his back. Jimmy's blond hair fell in-front of his eyes, and Andy gently brushed it away. It felt almost like regal gold thread beneath his fingers.

That was probably the drink talking anyhow.

'...Feelin' better?' Andy said tentatively after the heaving had subsided, too numb from the drink to feel the strain on his knees from bending down for so long.

Jimmy took another gulp of air and nodded a little. 'I... I don't wanna get up...'

Andy nodded - he knew that if he himself got up now, the world would probably be spinning again. He ran his hand one last time through Jimmy's hair and sat down properly on the floor, head in his hands, trying to contemplate how utterly smashed they'd got.

'Y-You're - hic - really sweet...' came Jimmy's voice from next to him. Andy looked up quickly to find Jimmy closer than he'd previously thought, eyelids heavy. 

The world was a blur behind him. Just a little.

'S'all I've got going for me now,' Andy said, more to himself than anyone else. Jimmy was a mess but he was beautiful even in his chaos.

Andy didn't even know how they ended up doing it. He would run it over and over in his head for many times to come after it had actually happened and end up with no real explanation for it. He'd never truly know when the moment had truly began, or if it had even ended for good.

All he knew was that suddenly they'd both leaned in and their lips had found each others' in the dark. It hadn't been particularly romantic or even wildly impulsive. They were just two people outside a bar who burned wholeheartedly for Thomas Barrow and didn't know what else to do with themselves.

They pulled apart when they heard a quiet cough puncture the evening air.

The cough could have signalled the end of their lives as free men, their downfall, but both were too intoxicated to react appropriately. Andy turned to see Thomas, debauched and curious as he stood outside the pub.

Andy was helpless as his blush grew deeper and deeper, feeling like it was blossoming and putting down roots beneath his skin. Thomas' eyes looked ambivalent in that moment. Andy blinked slowly, not tearing his gaze away from Thomas as he struggled to focus.

There was a peculiar silence that followed.

'W-We should go home now.'

It was Jimmy that had spoken up first, his voice a little higher than usual - probably from nerves.

The underbutler nodded, eyes almost reptilian in the light. Andy also found himself nodding slowly in agreement, as if his body didn't know what else to do.

Thomas stepped forward, not steady on his feet but seemingly lucid and sure of his destination, and held out both hands.

It took a moment for Andy to realise what Thomas wanted him to do, but he felt a jolt in his chest when he realised. He reached out his own hand and clasped Thomas', trying not to focus on the sparks of electricity he experienced whenever Thomas touched him.

Jimmy followed suit, grabbing Thomas' other hand clumsily as he and Andy were both promptly lifted to their feet.

'...Home,' Thomas said simply.

~*~

Andy opened his eyes to a splitting headache.

He stifled a groan as he squinted, the light coming in from the window hurting him immensely. His knees felt sore, as if they were scraped up, and his chest was unpleasantly cold because of his unbuttoned shirt. He recognised the ceiling he was waking up to.

Jimmy's flat. He was on Jimmy's bed again, properly this time.

He turned his head a little ( _damn,_ his neck felt so stiff - he must have slept in an odd position) to see Thomas curled up in the foetal position next to him, shirtless and pale. Andy couldn't make out much else except for his beautiful dark hair, ruffled by sleep. He seemed to still be dreaming.

Andy felt like never moving again - but he was freezing.

Did Jimmy have any extra blankets?

Speaking of Jimmy...

Andy sat up slowly, trying not to aggravate his already-sore head, wondering where Jimmy could have possibly got to during the night.

The question was answered when Andy braved the light of the window by turning his gaze upon it. Jimmy was leaned next to the window, clothed but still looking bedraggled, eyes opened wide in surprise at something. He seemed to be forming meaningless shapes with his mouth, as if too stunned to actually speak.

Andy decided he should do the talking for him if this was the case. It was time to speak up - though there were awkward flashbacks from the previous night that made the young footman want to crawl back into the bed and sleep for about seventy-five years.

'...Jimmy?' he finally said, voice cracking a little from lack of use. 'Is everything alright?'

'I don't...' Jimmy replied quietly after a few moments. '...I don't understand.'

Andy winced as he got up from the bed, walking over to where Jimmy was standing and picking his jacket up from off the floor on the way. 'What is it, Jimmy?'

But the question was once again answered by a little perspective on Andy's part. Andy couldn't believe his eyes when it came into view.

_Money._

Lots and lots of money.

Christ, Andy had never seen this much money in his life, and he'd certainly doubted he ever would.

'Hmn... What's going on?' came Thomas' voice from the bed as his eyelids fluttered open.

'Andy...' Jimmy said in that same quiet, shocked voice.

'Yeah?' Andy asked, tone mirroring Jimmy's now.

_'...Where the fuck did all of this money come from?'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how well this turned out, but I'm enjoying writing this. Yup, told you the crack would begin to happen more frequently, and looking back this can be read as quite a crack-filled chapter.


End file.
